


Thinking 'Bout Your Face

by SparkIntoAFlame



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, angst-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 16:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15053648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkIntoAFlame/pseuds/SparkIntoAFlame
Summary: It's been so long since he saw him, and his state breaks Bucky's heart in two.





	Thinking 'Bout Your Face

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: Clouds by BØ  
> Slightly non-canon: everyone compromises on the Accords and Team Cap doesn't have to go into hiding in this one

_I forget all my dreams_

_I forget everyone's name I meet_

_I forget about time and space_

He was the Winter Soldier. A cruel, merciless killer, who knew nothing but following orders. He killed without discretion, never remembering who it was or what he did or why he did it. No, he knew why. It was because the orders said to kill that person, and so that's what he had to do.

_But I can't stop thinking 'bout your face_

_I can't stop thinking 'bout your face_

There was one nagging little thought, a picture, in the back of his mind, like an itch that's just out of reach. Sometimes, it was louder, or however an image can become louder. A man, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. An angular face that could only be described, in his opinion, as beautiful. And in those moments, with those fleeting glimpses of that face, he was no longer the Winter Soldier. He was James Buchnan Barnes. Bucky.

_Clouds are rolling by_

_I open my mouth and I breathe them right in_

_All my thoughts slip away_

Steve had taken to drinking himself into oblivion on those nights. The nights where he could think of nothing but the scream when fingers slipped off a narrow, icy ledge and a body fell hundreds, thousands of feet to the bottom of a ravine. At least he knew Bucky was alive now. Or as alive as he could be when his mind was controlled and his thoughts weren't his anymore. Sometimes Tony found him. Or Sam. Or Natasha. Sometimes they would take the drink out of his limp hand and put an arm around his shaking shoulders. Other times they would grab a bottle and join right in, drinking until one of them (usually Steve) passed out and the other would take them to their room.

_But I can't stop thinking 'bout your face_

_I can't stop thinking 'bout your face_

It didn't help that Bucky's face was in his head the entire time. Somehow, that was the one thought that the drinks didn't wash away. Brown hair that Steve swore he could still feel between his fingers, as if they were still lying in bed on a lazy Sunday forehead that Steve could remember kissing. Blue eyes that Steve could feel staring into his soul even as a memory.

_Oh, I won't stop_

_'Til you knock on my door_

_Won't stop_

_'Til you knock on my door_

Bucky wasn't sure if he was pissed or relieved to find Steve sitting on a stool in the kitchen, a glass of whiskey clutched loosely in his hand - right were Natasha said he'd be. Alone. Bucky crossed the room in three strides and pulled up a seat next to Steve, purposely scraping it along the floor loudly. Steve didn't move. He barely flinched when Bucky gently pulled the glass out of his hand and left it on the counter in front of him.

"Steve," Bucky breathed lightly. "Steve, darling, it's me."

The last four words finally garnered a reaction out of Steve and he looked up at Bucky with bloodshot eyes.

"Buck," he rasped, reaching a shaking hand towards Bucky's face. "Bucky."

"Yeah, that's me." Bucky smiled softly and Steve's hand rested on his cheek. "I'm real, baby."

Steve made a choking sound and he surged forward to fling his arms around Bucky and bury his face in Bucky's neck.

_I forget this and that_

_I forget about the shit that doesn't matter_

_My memory could be erased_

_But I'd still be thinking 'bout your face_

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Steve sobbed. "I let you fall, I'm so sorry, Bucky, I'm so sor-"

"Shh, darling, Steve, it's okay, baby don't worry." Bucky rubbed circles onto Steve's back as he spoke. "You didn't let me fall, you didn't."

Bucky continued whispering reassurances into Steve's ear until his sobs reduced to gentle hiccups. Steve pulled back, his face blotchy and tear-stained, and finally took Bucky in.

"It's...been so damn long, Bucky," Steve half-whimpered.

"I know." And there was no more Bucky could say, was there? Except, maybe -

"I never forgot you."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"When I was...y'know, the Winter Soldier. I never forgot you. You were like this-this bug in the back of my mind, and you were never gone, not really," Bucky blurted. "You were always there."

_Oh, I won't stop_

_'Til you knock on my door_

_Won't stop_

_'Til you knock on my door_

Steve sighed and brushed away a tear that had started making its way down Bucky's cheek.

"What a mess we are, huh, Buck?"

Bucky wrapped his legs around Steve's waist and pressed his lips to Steve's. "I love it. I love you."


End file.
